WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP NOW! OR AM I GOING HUNGRY AGAIN THIS WEEKEND?

HEY PEOPLE, HELLO PLEASE HELP ME! Your Support And Compassion Would Be Greatly Appreciated.
A Great Deal Of #MutualAid Is Still Needed, Please consider supporting this #disabled man living in #poverty, I still need $1300 for April so I can take care of myself this month, and to make it worse May is fast approaching meaning I am ending this month in the negative and staring the next one with a deficit, which means now I really need to raise $2800, You can encourage my continued creativity and empower me to live today $5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…

Red Bellied Whistlers,

You can encourage my continued useless #photography, and by doing so your helping to feed, house and clothe a #disabled man living in #poverty, $5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…

#photography, #nature, #wildlife, #waterfowl,

So I recently ran this post through Googles Gemini Deep Research Model to see what it says, below is what I shared with it, and below that is what Gemini gave me,

Nothing like experiencing progressively worsening stiffness and pain all over the body, along with increased weakness exhaustion and spells of extreme tiredness, a constant lower body temperature than normal as mine has been running between 95-96.8 deg, and blood pressure that has been all over the place but often climbing quite high for me 160/120 mean time my pulse rate remains fairly normal around 60-68 resting and around 98 if I have been slightly active and in more pain, my weight has been holding between 250-260, I have noticed marked difference in weakened muscle strength, of course it does not help that being #disabled and living in #poverty, that both my “normal” physical activity is all ready reduces from that of a non-disabled person, but I also have years of very poor dietary nutrition as a result of lacking the money to have food on a day to day basis, and not being able to afford healthy food at all, getting older really does not help matters, as we age we decline in over all health as it is, now add poverty and disability and every year I age is more like 5-10 years for a “normal healthy” person.

I am a #disabled man living in #poverty, my #disability is 60% physical and 40% mental, and as I get older, both of those are increasingly hard to deal with, each day I try to do what I can where I live, as part of my rent is to help out when and as I can, but that is getting harder and harder to do, I am spent, between losing what little strength and physical ability I have left and not getting decent sleep nor having a decent diet, things just keep getting harder, and that causes my #anxiety to get worse which causes my #bipolar to cycle, which causes more lack of sleep, and I am in constant pain, and on and on it goes, at 47 years old I sure wish people could see the value in helping me #fundraise $5million dollars so that I can buy my own property and build my forever home, and have everything I need to never have to worry again, and to alleviate the stress of my day to day situation, and so I can really just age at a pace that wont effect anyone or anything, because in my own home, if I cant or dont feel like it I dont have to do anything for days, weeks, or months at a time and no one can get mad at me. People seem to forget that I am disabled and they dont realize I am getting older, nor do they comprehend that I simply cant afford #food to eat 3 meals a day, often not even one meal a day, that I have no #healthcare, people in general expect me to just keep going like the energizer bunny, when the reality is I am an old broke down ford truck, that on occasion I can get fired up and get a few things done, but more often than not, I really dont have the gas to even stand up, being #disabled and living in #poverty Fucking Sucks! you cant afford to eat when your hungry, you cant afford to take care of your health, you cant afford anything a person needs in life, Poverty Fucking Sucks, but when Your Disabled, it Fucking Blows, and every little thing is compounded a 1000 times and no one really cares to help you. I have so many unseen issues, most don’t realize the true difficulty I endure each day, first I don’t sleep well, for many reasons, from a brain that is constantly in overdrive, to relentless nightmares, to being in constant pain, to not having a decent supportive bed to sleep on, so my days start of painful, tired and overwhelmed before I even get going, Often I go hungry because living in #poverty I simply can not afford #food to eat, I typically only get around 600-800 calories a day when a man my size and age should be getting around 3000 calories a day, as a result despite my appearance I suffer from malnutrition, I have a great deal of difficulty cleaning my tiny cave, from not being able to afford the basics to have cleaning supplies to being physically limited in my ability to do so, I cant hardly bend over, nor can I very easily get up and down off the floor, taking a shower can simply become a serious challenge, and often leaves my exhausted not to mention I cant often afford the basics for personal hygiene, simply washing a dish or standing at the stove at times can be brutal on my back, then there are chores I need to tend to as part of my rent, and those absolutely can be a painful and exhaustive event for me, and those around often don’t even realize and expect more as a result, and if I say I have had enough today, I am questioned, because they assume I did what I did with ease, but they have no idea of the pain and struggle I had to endure to deal with to accomplish the tasks at hand, reading has become trouble some, as world become very blurry and melt together, writing is becoming increasingly difficult, as finding the words is getting harder and harder, being creative used to help but I have been in so much pain, and under so much stress that I often cant even muster up the energy to attempt to be creative, not to mention my camera is failing, my laptop is struggling, and again no money to obtain what I actually need, I have no #healthcare because the laws people pass have really messed that up, and after years fighting to get it resolved I have given up, so I fight through each day to just to suffer the next, I reach out constantly for financial support yet receive nearly nothing compared to what I actually need, this #disable man exists in #poverty, constant pain and my #anxiety exacerbates my #ptsd, my #bipolar cycles, and several other issues, my blood pressure has been all over the place and frankly in a rather obscenely high range for to long, my core body temp has been far lower than the average, while I often feel as though I am on fire, things get darker with my sight each day, and yet to bright, I hear and see so much that is not actually there, so very much wrong and no support nor help to be found, it would really truly help if people could and would help me #fundriase the money I need each day to live, and the money I need to set up a life where I can take care of myself and lessen the effects of poverty and disability on an aging body and mind.

$5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…


“Analysis of Progressively Worsening Health Issues in a Disabled Man Living in Poverty1. Introduction:The intricate interplay of physical and mental disability, coupled with the pervasive challenges of poverty and the natural progression of aging, can significantly impact an individual's health and overall well-being. This report aims to analyze the complex constellation of progressively worsening health issues described by a 47-year-old disabled man residing in poverty. By drawing upon provided research materials, this analysis will explore potential medical correlates for the reported symptoms, discuss the profound influence of socioeconomic factors on health outcomes, identify relevant local resources that may offer support, and consider the potential of fundraising as a means to enhance the individual's quality of life. The user's detailed account underscores the interconnectedness of their physical health, mental well-being, the limitations imposed by a 60% physical and 40% mental disability, the daily realities of living in poverty, and the inevitable effects of aging.The user's description vividly illustrates the concept of synergistic vulnerability. In this context, the combination of disability, which often limits physical activity and earning capacity, leads to poverty. This lack of financial resources, in turn, restricts access to essential elements for maintaining health, such as nutritious food and adequate healthcare. Consequently, the initial disability and overall health can deteriorate further, creating a detrimental cycle. This compounding effect highlights the critical need to adopt a comprehensive and integrated approach to fully understand and effectively address the user's multifaceted situation.Furthermore, the user's observation that aging seems to be accelerated due to the combined burden of disability and poverty ("every year I age is more like 5-10 years for a 'normal healthy' person") aligns with extensive research on the social determinants of health. These determinants, which encompass factors like socioeconomic status, access to healthcare, and environmental conditions, have a documented and significant impact on the pace and quality of aging.1 Chronic stress, often a direct consequence of financial instability and the challenges of living with a disability, along with inadequate nutrition resulting from food insecurity and limited access to quality healthcare, are all known to contribute to an acceleration of cellular aging and an increased susceptibility to age-related diseases.32. Comprehensive Symptom Analysis and Potential Medical Correlates:

2.1 Progressive Stiffness and Pain All Over the Body:The user reports a "progressively worsening stiffness and pain all over the body." This widespread and increasing discomfort could correlate with several medical conditions. Fibromyalgia is a chronic condition characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain, often described as a persistent ache, a burning sensation, or a sharp, stabbing pain. This pain is frequently accompanied by significant stiffness, which can be particularly pronounced after periods of inactivity, such as upon waking in the morning.6 The user's description of pain "all over the body" aligns with the diagnostic criteria for fibromyalgia, which involve pain in multiple regions of the body.8
Autonomic neuropathy, a condition resulting from damage to the nerves controlling involuntary bodily functions, can also manifest with widespread pain and weakness, especially when the underlying cause is an autoimmune disorder.9 While autonomic neuropathy primarily affects functions like blood pressure and temperature regulation, the nerve damage can sometimes extend to sensory nerves, contributing to diffuse pain sensations.11
Multiple system atrophy (MSA), a rare and progressive neurodegenerative disorder, can also present with symptoms including stiff muscles and difficulty bending the arms and legs, mirroring some aspects of Parkinson's disease.13 This stiffness can worsen over time as the condition progresses. Given the user's age of 47, which is approaching the typical age of onset for MSA (50s-60s) 13, this possibility should be considered.
Finally, hypothyroidism, a condition where the thyroid gland doesn't produce enough thyroid hormone, can also lead to muscle and joint pain and stiffness.15 The progressive nature of the user's symptoms could also be consistent with the gradual development of hypothyroidism.17


2.2 Increased Weakness and Exhaustion:The user describes "increased weakness exhaustion and spells of extreme tiredness." This profound fatigue and loss of strength are hallmark symptoms of several conditions. Chronic fatigue syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME/CFS) is a complex and debilitating disease characterized by extreme fatigue that is not relieved by rest and often worsens after even minimal physical or mental activity, a phenomenon known as post-exertional malaise.18 Weakness is also a commonly reported symptom in individuals with ME/CFS.20 The user's mention of "spells of extreme tiredness" could indicate periods of relapse or exacerbation, which are characteristic of ME/CFS.19
Severe fatigue is also a core feature of fibromyalgia, often described as an overwhelming exhaustion similar to that experienced during a flu-like illness.6 The fatigue associated with fibromyalgia can be just as debilitating as the pain and significantly impact daily functioning.22
Autonomic neuropathy can also contribute to general weakness and a reduced tolerance for physical exertion.9 Damage to the autonomic nerves can affect energy levels and overall physical stamina.11
The progressive loss of motor function in multiple system atrophy (MSA) can manifest as increasing weakness and exhaustion, particularly as movement becomes slower and more difficult.13 The effort required for even simple tasks can lead to significant fatigue.
Hypothyroidism is well-known for causing fatigue and a general feeling of being slowed down.15 The deficiency in thyroid hormone affects metabolism, leading to decreased energy production and persistent tiredness.16
Finally, malnutrition, stemming from the user's years of poor dietary intake, can directly result in weakness, faintness, and profound fatigue due to the body lacking the necessary nutrients for energy production and muscle function.25


2.3 Constant Lower Body Temperature:The user reports a consistently low body temperature "between 95-96.8 deg." This is below the average normal body temperature range (approximately 97.8-99.1°F).26 A persistently low body temperature can be indicative of several underlying medical issues. Hypothyroidism is a significant possibility, as a low body temperature is a recognized symptom, particularly in cases of untreated or severe hypothyroidism.15 Individuals with hypothyroidism often experience cold intolerance as well.27
Autonomic neuropathy can also disrupt the body's ability to regulate temperature, potentially leading to a lower than normal body temperature.9 The autonomic nervous system plays a crucial role in maintaining thermal homeostasis.23
Multiple system atrophy (MSA) can also affect body temperature control, sometimes resulting in a lower core body temperature or symptoms like cold hands and feet.13 Reduced sweating, which can occur in MSA, can impair the body's ability to regulate temperature effectively.13
Malnutrition, particularly severe undernutrition, can also lead to a drop in body temperature.25 The body may reduce its metabolic rate in an attempt to conserve energy when caloric intake is severely restricted, resulting in a lower core temperature.29
While less conclusive, some individuals with chronic fatigue syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME/CFS) have reported experiencing low body temperatures.30 Chills are also a symptom sometimes associated with ME/CFS, suggesting a possible issue with temperature regulation.19
It is important to note that a body temperature consistently below 95°F is classified as hypothermia, a potentially serious condition requiring medical attention.31 While environmental exposure is a common cause of hypothermia, certain medical conditions like hypothyroidism, malnutrition, and autonomic dysfunction can increase an individual's susceptibility to it.32


2.4 Fluctuating High Blood Pressure:The user's blood pressure "has been all over the place but often climbing quite high for me 160/120 mean time." This indicates significant and fluctuating hypertension. Autonomic neuropathy is a key condition that can cause erratic blood pressure, including episodes of high blood pressure.9 Damage to the autonomic nerves responsible for regulating blood pressure can lead to instability and unpredictable changes.11
Multiple system atrophy (MSA) is also known to cause dysregulation of blood pressure, often manifesting as orthostatic hypotension (a drop in blood pressure upon standing) but can also include supine hypertension (high blood pressure when lying down).13
Hypothyroidism can sometimes be associated with elevated diastolic blood pressure.15 The thyroid hormones play a role in regulating cardiovascular function.35
Changes in blood pressure, including fluctuations, have been reported in individuals with chronic fatigue syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME/CFS).18 Orthostatic intolerance, where blood pressure regulation is affected by posture changes, is also common.21
The user's high blood pressure could also be a manifestation of secondary hypertension, where the elevated blood pressure is caused by an underlying medical condition. Various conditions, including kidney disease and thyroid problems, can lead to secondary hypertension.37
Labile hypertension is a condition characterized by significant and unpredictable fluctuations in blood pressure, which can be triggered by various factors, including underlying medical conditions like adrenal gland issues or kidney disease.39
Interestingly, there is a connection between low body temperature and high blood pressure. Mild hypothermia can trigger vasoconstriction, leading to an increase in arterial pressure as the body tries to conserve heat.41 Even cool indoor temperatures have been linked to higher blood pressure readings.43 This suggests that the user's low body temperature might be contributing to their elevated blood pressure.


2.5 Normal Pulse Rate:The user's pulse rate "remains fairly normal around 60-68 resting and around 98 if I have been slightly active and in more pain." While generally within the typical resting heart rate range (60-100 beats per minute), the slight increase with activity and pain is a normal physiological response. However, in conditions like autonomic neuropathy, the heart rate might not respond appropriately to activity, or there could be a fixed heart rate.9 In ME/CFS, some individuals experience an abnormal heart rate response to exercise.9 While the user's reported pulse rate seems generally appropriate, further evaluation of heart rate variability and response to specific autonomic function tests might be warranted if autonomic neuropathy is suspected. In hypothyroidism, a slower than normal heart rate (bradycardia) is often observed.15


2.6 Weight Stability:The user's weight "has been holding between 250-260." This weight range falls into the overweight or obese category for most individuals. While stable, it is notable in the context of the user's reported very low caloric intake of 600-800 calories per day. Hypothyroidism can lead to unexplained weight gain due to a slowed metabolism.15 Conversely, malnutrition typically results in weight loss.25 The fact that the user's weight has remained relatively stable despite a severe caloric deficit suggests a significantly reduced metabolic rate, which could be a consequence of underlying hypothyroidism or the body's adaptation to chronic undernutrition by conserving energy.29


2.7 Weakened Muscle Strength:The user has noticed a "marked difference in weakened muscle strength." This symptom is common in several of the potential conditions discussed. Autonomic neuropathy can affect motor nerves, leading to muscle weakness.10 The progressive neurological damage in multiple system atrophy (MSA) causes a gradual loss of motor function and associated muscle weakness.13 Muscle weakness is also a frequently reported symptom in both chronic fatigue syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME/CFS) and fibromyalgia.19 In hypothyroidism, muscle weakness and soreness are common complaints.15 Furthermore, the user's history of chronic malnutrition would undoubtedly contribute to a loss of muscle mass and overall weakness due to inadequate protein and calorie intake.25 Finally, the user's pre-existing disability and the resulting reduction in physical activity would lead to muscle deconditioning and a perceived decrease in strength.


2.8 Blurry Vision:The user reports "reading has become trouble some, as world become very blurry and melt together." This visual disturbance could have several potential causes. The user's history of significantly elevated blood pressure raises the possibility of hypertensive retinopathy, where damage to the blood vessels in the retina due to high blood pressure can lead to blurred vision and other visual disturbances.46 Autonomic neuropathy can affect the nerves controlling the pupils and eye movements, potentially causing blurry vision and difficulties with light adjustment.9 Multiple system atrophy (MSA) can also cause blurred or double vision and problems with focusing.13 While less common, vision problems can occur in hypothyroidism.11 Additionally, undiagnosed high blood sugar (even without a formal diagnosis of diabetes) can cause temporary blurring of vision due to changes in the lens of the eye.48 Dysautonomia, which can be associated with autonomic neuropathy, can also cause blurry vision, particularly upon changes in posture.49


2.9 Auditory and Visual Phenomena:The user mentions "things get darker with my sight each day, and yet to bright, I hear and see so much that is not actually there." The experience of hearing and seeing things that are not real (hallucinations) can be associated with several factors. Given the user's history of anxiety, bipolar disorder, and PTSD, these mental health conditions are potential contributors to both auditory and visual hallucinations, especially during periods of increased stress or emotional dysregulation.51 Severe sleep deprivation, which the user reports, can also trigger hallucinations.52 Certain neurological conditions, such as MSA and Parkinson's disease, can sometimes involve visual hallucinations.54 While the user reports a lack of healthcare, if they were taking any medications (prescription, over-the-counter, or illicit), some substances can cause hallucinations as a side effect.53 In rare cases, severe infections like sepsis can also manifest with hallucinations.57 The user's description of their sight becoming both "darker" and "too bright" might suggest fluctuations in visual perception, possibly related to migraine-like phenomena or neurological involvement.

3. The Intertwined Impact of Disability, Poverty, and Aging on Health:

3.1 Exacerbation of Health Challenges and Accelerated Aging:The user poignantly states that "being #disabled and living in #poverty" diminishes their physical activity and that "every year I age is more like 5-10 years for a 'normal healthy' person." This observation is powerfully supported by research examining the social determinants of health.1 Poverty acts as a significant stressor on the body and mind, increasing the likelihood of both physical and mental illness, particularly in older adults.1 Individuals living below the poverty threshold often experience greater functional limitations, poorer overall physical and mental health, and a significantly higher mortality rate compared to those with greater financial security.1 The chronic stress associated with financial insecurity, the daily challenges of managing a disability without adequate resources, and the cumulative effects of these stressors can indeed accelerate the aging process at a biological level.4 The user's reduced physical activity due to their disability is further compounded by the limitations imposed by poverty, creating a cycle of decreased mobility and declining physical health. This lack of activity can exacerbate existing conditions and contribute to the development of new health problems, further accelerating the aging trajectory.


3.2 Effects of Chronic Malnutrition:The user vividly describes "years of very poor dietary nutrition as a result of lacking the money to have food on a day to day basis, and not being able to afford healthy food at all," resulting in a typical daily intake of only 600-800 calories. This severe and prolonged undernutrition has profound consequences for the user's health. Research indicates that severely malnourished individuals are particularly susceptible to hypothermia, as their bodies lack the energy reserves to maintain a normal core temperature.58 Malnutrition can lead to a constellation of symptoms including low body temperature, a slowed heart rate, and decreased blood pressure.25 The body's ability to regulate its internal temperature is significantly impaired by inadequate nutrition.60 In fact, studies suggest that a reduced mean body temperature in malnourished individuals might be a physiological adaptation to conserve precious calories.29 Furthermore, chronic undernutrition leads to a depletion of energy stores, resulting in the profound fatigue and weakness reported by the user.28 The lack of sufficient protein intake also directly impacts muscle strength and can contribute to muscle wasting.45 The user's stable weight despite such a low caloric intake likely reflects a severely depressed metabolic rate as the body attempts to survive on minimal energy, a state that is detrimental to long-term health and well-being.


3.3 Barriers to Healthcare Access:The user's statement, "I have no #healthcare because the laws people pass have really messed that up, and after years fighting to get it resolved I have given up," underscores a critical barrier faced by many disabled individuals living in poverty in the United States. Poverty itself is a significant determinant of poor health outcomes, directly limiting access to essential healthcare services and resources.61 This disparity is further amplified for individuals with disabilities, who often face additional obstacles such as inaccessible healthcare facilities, a lack of understanding among healthcare professionals regarding their specific needs, transportation difficulties, and, significantly, higher rates of poverty.62 The user's lack of healthcare coverage prevents them from seeking timely medical evaluations, obtaining accurate diagnoses for their complex and worsening symptoms, and accessing necessary treatments and medications. This absence of care perpetuates a dangerous cycle where untreated health issues can escalate, leading to further disability and a continued decline in overall well-being. The inability to afford healthcare creates an insurmountable barrier to addressing the user's multifaceted health needs.

4. The Role of Mental Health and Sleep Disturbances:

4.1 Interplay of Mental Health Conditions and Chronic Pain:The user eloquently describes a vicious cycle: "things just keep getting harder, and that causes my #anxiety to get worse which causes my #bipolar to cycle, which causes more lack of sleep, and I am in constant pain, and on and on it goes." This accurately reflects the well-documented and complex interplay between mental health conditions and chronic pain.6 Anxiety can significantly heighten an individual's perception of pain, making even minor discomfort feel more intense and pervasive.69 Conversely, living with constant chronic pain can understandably lead to increased anxiety and feelings of distress.6 The user's bipolar disorder is likely exacerbated by the significant stress and lack of sleep they experience. Stress is a known trigger for mood episodes in bipolar disorder, and the constant physical discomfort and worry about basic needs would undoubtedly contribute to this stress.70 Furthermore, the user's PTSD can also be triggered by ongoing stressors and physical discomfort, potentially intensifying anxiety and contributing to the overall cycle of worsening symptoms.70


4.2 Sleep Disturbances:The user's report of not getting decent sleep due to "a brain that is constantly in overdrive, to relentless nightmares, to being in constant pain, to not having a decent supportive bed to sleep on" highlights the significant impact of their mental and physical health on their sleep quality. Sleep disturbance is a core symptom of bipolar disorder, with insomnia being particularly common during depressive phases.72 The "brain constantly in overdrive" likely reflects racing thoughts and worry associated with anxiety, which is a major contributor to insomnia.74 The "relentless nightmares" are a hallmark symptom of PTSD and significantly disrupt sleep patterns.75 Chronic pain, as the user describes, is a well-known impediment to restful sleep, causing awakenings and preventing the attainment of deep, restorative sleep.6 Finally, the lack of a supportive bed due to poverty directly contributes to physical discomfort and can exacerbate pain, further hindering the ability to get adequate rest. This chronic lack of sleep then worsens all other symptoms, including pain, anxiety, and mood instability, creating a detrimental cycle that significantly impacts the user's daily functioning and overall well-being.75

5. Understanding Sensory Changes:

5.1 Worsening Blurry Vision:The user's statement, "things get darker with my sight each day, and yet to bright, I hear and see so much that is not actually there," coupled with the difficulty reading ("world become very blurry and melt together"), suggests a concerning progression of visual changes. The user's history of fluctuating and often high blood pressure is a significant risk factor for hypertensive retinopathy, a condition where the blood vessels in the retina are damaged by elevated blood pressure, leading to blurred vision and potentially more severe vision loss if left untreated.46 Autonomic neuropathy can also affect vision by causing sluggish pupillary responses, making it hard to adjust to changes in light and potentially leading to blurry vision.9 Multiple system atrophy (MSA) can also manifest with visual symptoms, including blurred or double vision and difficulties with focusing the eyes.13 The user's description of their sight becoming "darker" yet "too bright" could indicate issues with light sensitivity, possibly related to migraine-like phenomena or neurological dysfunction affecting visual processing. While less likely without a diabetes diagnosis, it's worth noting that high blood sugar can also cause temporary blurry vision.48


5.2 Auditory and Visual Phenomena:The user's report of hearing and seeing things that are not actually present ("I hear and see so much that is not actually there") indicates the presence of hallucinations. Given the user's history of anxiety, bipolar disorder, and PTSD, these mental health conditions are likely contributing factors to these sensory experiences.51 Hallucinations can occur during periods of high anxiety, stress, or mood episodes in bipolar disorder.53 PTSD, particularly when associated with severe trauma and sleep disturbances, can also lead to both auditory and visual hallucinations.75 The user's chronic and severe sleep deprivation is another significant factor that can trigger hallucinations.52 While less likely without a formal medical evaluation, certain neurological conditions like MSA or Parkinson's disease can sometimes involve visual hallucinations.55 It is crucial to consider these sensory phenomena in the context of the user's overall health profile, including their mental health history and the severe stress they are under.

6. Navigating Healthcare and Potential Diagnostic Pathways:

6.1 Importance of Professional Medical Evaluation:It is paramount to reiterate that the analysis presented in this report is based on the user's self-reported symptoms and the reviewed research material. This information should not be interpreted as a medical diagnosis. Establishing an accurate diagnosis and developing an appropriate treatment plan necessitates a thorough and comprehensive medical evaluation conducted by qualified healthcare professionals.


6.2 Suggested Medical Professionals:The user should prioritize seeking consultation with a General Practitioner (GP) or Primary Care Physician. This physician can serve as the initial point of contact to discuss the wide range of symptoms and coordinate necessary referrals to specialists. The GP can also conduct a general health assessment and explore initial screening tests. Given the constellation of symptoms, referral to a Neurologist is highly recommended to evaluate potential neurological conditions such as autonomic neuropathy or multiple system atrophy (MSA), especially considering the progressive stiffness, weakness, blood pressure fluctuations, blurry vision, and sensory phenomena. Consultation with a Rheumatologist would be beneficial to assess for fibromyalgia, given the user's widespread pain, stiffness, and fatigue. An Endocrinologist should be consulted to investigate potential thyroid dysfunction, particularly in light of the persistent low body temperature and its possible influence on other symptoms. Finally, continued care and evaluation by a Psychiatrist or other mental health professional are essential for the ongoing management of anxiety, bipolar disorder, and PTSD, as well as to further assess and address the reported auditory and visual phenomena.


6.3 Potential Diagnostic Tests:Depending on the findings of the initial medical evaluations, several diagnostic tests might be recommended. To assess for autonomic neuropathy, these could include autonomic function tests (measuring heart rate and blood pressure responses to various stimuli), a tilt-table test (monitoring blood pressure and heart rate changes with posture), a quantitative sudomotor axon reflex test (QSART) and a thermoregulatory sweat test (evaluating sweat gland function).12 Blood tests may also be ordered to identify underlying causes such as diabetes, autoimmune disorders, or infections.79 For multiple system atrophy (MSA), a thorough neurological examination, a detailed review of the user's medical history, autonomic function tests (including lying and standing blood pressure measurements), and an MRI of the brain (to look for characteristic patterns of atrophy) are typically employed.13 A sleep study might also be recommended to evaluate for sleep disorders common in MSA. The diagnosis of chronic fatigue syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME/CFS) is primarily clinical, based on the user meeting specific symptom criteria, but blood and urine tests are often conducted to rule out other fatiguing illnesses.21 The diagnosis of fibromyalgia also relies heavily on clinical evaluation, focusing on the history of widespread pain and associated symptoms.7 However, blood tests such as a complete blood count, erythrocyte sedimentation rate (ESR), and thyroid function tests may be ordered to exclude other conditions with similar symptoms.8 To assess for hypothyroidism, blood tests measuring thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH) and free thyroxine (T4) levels are essential.24 In addition to these condition-specific tests, general tests such as a complete blood count, basic metabolic panel, liver function tests, and inflammatory markers (ESR, CRP) may provide valuable information.8 A sleep study could further evaluate the user's reported sleep disturbances 89, and an electrocardiogram (ECG) might be used to assess heart function in the context of fluctuating blood pressure.81 A urinalysis could also be helpful to assess kidney function.79

Conclusion:The user's situation presents a complex web of interconnected health challenges significantly exacerbated by the profound impact of disability and the daily realities of living in poverty. The combination of these factors appears to be accelerating the aging process and severely diminishing the user's quality of life. Addressing these multifaceted issues requires a comprehensive and persistent approach. While ambitious, exploring fundraising opportunities could offer a pathway to achieving greater stability, accessing necessary healthcare, and improving the user's overall well-being. Ultimately, by taking incremental yet determined steps towards addressing their medical, socioeconomic, and support needs, the user can strive for meaningful and lasting improvements in their life.”


You can encourage my continued self research, and by doing so your helping to feed, house and clothe a #disabled man living in #poverty, $5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…

#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #poem,

Distance between reality and fantasy blurred by a desolate existence in the void of despair, for the air is cold, there is no hope, no light to see no sound to hear, for life is no where near, falling deeper into the abyss, no reach to grab, no ground to stand, spiraling deeper into fear, monsters rage as they chase you in this cage, the burning souls screaming but no one cares, the shards of life that cut deep in the night, demons are all that are in sight, limbs of lead steal your breath, crushing weight upon your chest, is this hell really in your head.

You can encourage my continued useless poetic commentary on random thoughts and events, and by doing so your helping to feed, house and clothe a #disabled man living in #poverty, $5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…

#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #poem,

We can see the valley full of flowers in bloom, the tranquil waters as they ripple in and out of the shore, we can hear the birds singing their songs, and witness the deer in the meadow with it's fawn, but we ignore the ones under the bridge, we turn away from those in pain, we ignore those who are left to suffer another day, for their grotesque despair is fear of what we all find near, for the hungry starve as we have no love in our hearts, the sick lie in the streets because we can't offer them comfort, in a moment despair there never is anyone who cares.

You can encourage my continued useless poetic commentary on random thoughts and events, and by doing so your helping to feed, house and clothe a #disabled man living in #poverty, $5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…

#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #poem,

After another restless night of hunger and pain, the old man finds a way to get his stiff body out of bed, he turns on his classical music and starts his coffee, he shuffles out the door to find the world dark and gray everything's soaked from yet another day of rain, no bird singing today yet the flow of traffic seems to be carrying people away, the sirens of a meatwagon in the distance, unable to move unable to look around, the old man stumbles back inside and wonders oh why why can't I just lay back down, for a bed of thorns and stones tear up a body broken by time half awake, the old man wonders why can't I just die, for another day of suffering in pain and struggling for food, alone on another dark dreary day.

You can encourage my continued useless poetic commentary on random thoughts and events, and by doing so your helping to feed, house and clothe a #disabled man living in #poverty, $5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…

#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #poem,

For in the darkness of night a cloak of the abyss drags you deep within the void, but for the ever growing fear, nightmares are near, in pain trying to sleep is insane, a day of hunger, a life of despair, to see the stars life would be so clear, from storms and quakes to brimstone and fire, peace is but a fantasy, existence confined to suffering while struggling would bring privileged hope, faint of breath and twisting beats ones heart can no longer drive it's feet, on wings of fear the end is near forever dark this journeys here, upon the precipice to final rest, have I really passed the test.


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Left with nowhere to go, the night was dark and the air was thick, between the storms in the distance and owls screeching it was near impossible to tell the zombies where moving through town, considering we are the only people are around it’s safe to say the townsfolk are now zombies, it’s unsure of what happened to cause people to become zombies, but I suspect the neon green lake on the edge of town had something to do with it.

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#creativewriting, #shortstories,

As old men die and young men fall, the world is going to burn us all, little girl's dreams of unicorns and princess themes turns into a woman wondering where are any of these, pie crust promises upon the campaign bring devastating pain, flooding rains and droughts of fire, lack of food and disease in abundance, rising seas and wilting farms, city streets covered in feces while school doors are slammed shut, hospitals close and someone stubbed their toes, vacant homes and bridge tent towns, governments that promised the world as they stand by your nightstand, no trains no planes, everyone has lost their brains.

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CAN ANYONE SEE ME?
Empty even within the confines of the vast internet, a desolate existence void of human interaction a direct mirror of reality, isolated and abandoned by humanity, for his pleas for help go unheard, his poetic emotions unseen, his desire to be more un-fostered alone among millions to never be,
Earth to Humans, this #disabled man living in #poverty is over here all by myself in a lonely corner of the #fediverse, stop by say hi checkout all my posts and give me a follow 👋

Sitting on the toilet unaware of how you got there, the old man does not remember sleeping, his body is stiff and in pain smell of coffee is in the air can't remember making it classical music playing can't remember turning it on mind of fog no breath has come to him yet hunger looms in his belly another day that's dark and gray storms on the horizon oh yeah what am I doing awake today.

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#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #poem,

Every joint as stiff as mortar every limb heavy is lead, moments of weakness and sudden exhaustion, pain radiating like the Summer sun, no bed of comfort nor respite to be, lack of breath takes me off my feet, lying back sinking fast, eyes so heavy no sleep will put me back on my feet.

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As my body aches I find I have the energy of a deflated pillow, my range of motion as stiff as concrete, head to toe it is a feat just to stand upon my feet, thighs that numb to knees that burn, shoulders simply hurt, arms of lead why have even gotten out of bed, a distant pulse and labored breath, while crazy fills my head, to take a step seems easy to see, but work involved drains my very soul, to find a reason to simply be, O how I truly hate to be me;

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#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #poem,

After a long restless night of pain, with the roar of thunder and pouring rain the old man struggles to get out bed today, beaten down by time he wonders why even do I still try, after turning on his classical music he stumbles to start his coffee, hungry he opens the fridge to find it empty much like the rest of his life, shuffling off to look outside, the driving rain drowns out his thoughts, pouring a cup he takes a sip, finally a breath of fresh air as his body slowly wakes up, alone, hungry and in pain he is forced to face another day, a day with storms and rain, hoping no flood will come today for I am in too much pain.

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#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #poem,

Walking across celestial strings binding time and light, the abyss cloaked in a void of darkness rapidly enveloping my path, no chance to turn back, no hope to go forward, trapped in cosmic nebula's violent enough to birth new stars, pretty enough to be fooled by their beauty, the harmonic balance of nothingness complemented by the chorus of the stars, a body of flesh and bone that has no earthly home, a soul yearning for a peaceful existence, confined to a world of pain, suffering and endless struggle, for the universe expands beyond comprehension, while my desolate life defies explanation, despair among the living my life bares, for respite slumber is as elusive as a gravitational black hole, existence maybe fleeting, but heart keeps beating, expanding despair with no galaxy to compare, this void has robbed me all life.

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#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #space, #poetry, #poem,

Enjoy the #summer in style with this Loud and Creative #T by a #disabled man living in #poverty, and when you purchase and wear it, your empowering someone to do more than just exist, your support enables life, pasjrwoctx.threadless.com/desi…

#threadless, #apparel, #fashion, #Tshirt,

Before the first breath even escapes the old man, he stumbles out of bed stiff as a board, riddled in pain and exhausted, he shuffles to his way to start his coffee, classical music is playing, stumbling off to the toilet to release his gaseous bloat when trinkets of poop plop out and float, struggling to get up he manages to get to his chair, and could careless about the world outside today, for the world has ignored his every plea, another day the old man awakes to nothing to eat, bitter from time and neglect, the old man wishes he could make the whole world fade away in the most horrible of ways, O its going to be another deplorable day of despair o yea.

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#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #poem,

I would love to be the next #pope, first I would have the chance to live in #Rome and study all of the Vatican's archives, spending the rest of my life studying some of the greatest works ever composed, second I would have the chance to usher in a new era of of understanding, wisdom, compassion and unity to not only the #Catholic Church but to #Christianity as a whole, third I would have the chance to actually put the Love of Jesus to work in a real world way, by utilization of the churches immense wealth to actually serve the poor, the sick, the hungry, the lost, under my direction the church would truly do as Christ, and get out of the cathedral and into the world where the people are, bringing as many suffering people to a more sustainable and prosperous life. But I wont be the next Pope, as I don't even serve the catholic church in any capacity, No I wont be the next pope, but God willing, along with raising money to live each day, this #disabled man living in #poverty has a dream to buy property build his forever home, and have enough room to help as many other people in need of respite as I possibly can, I may never see that dream come true, as I suffer in extreme pain each day and I struggle just to have one thing to eat each day often going hungry for days and weeks at a time. Who ever is the next pope, I truly pray they are much closer to Jesus and truly use the churches ability to truly serve and help God's children, it is high time the #Church as whole lives up to Christ, and starts feeding all those who are hungry...

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Alone in a dimly lite room, smooth jazz playing in the foreground as the tv is on in the background, the noise of the air conditioner over powers the quiet atmosphere, waiting for the water to boil to make a pitcher of iced tea for the next day, unaware of where the day actually went, the old man realizes it is evening, most of the day he was rather transient in his sedentary actions, a day of pain and exhaustion, high blood pressure and heart palpitations, some point in the early evening he managed to take a shower, sitting in his underwear, waiting for the water to boil, he realizes no food has been consumed today, and other than a can of spam and a few slices of bread is all he really has, he decides to forgo the eating tonight and save it for tomorrow, a long night ahead of discomfort, pain and nightmares await if he manages to get some sleep, hoping someone will care and fill his needs, as the water begins to boil, he wonders why he even bothers, as his hands are weak lifting the kettle from the burner seams to be a feat, tea stepping, thoughts of weeping, no strength to stand, no comfort in sitting, slumber upon a lump that might as well be broken rocks, just as the night wears on, so does this old mans despair;

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please do not allow your elephants to put their trunks into the blowholes of our wales, it is not nearly as funny as you think it is, and please at all costs, please stop your primates from flinging their feces onto our penguins, your behavior and control of your brood will determine whether you get to have lunch with our lions or if you will be our lions lunch.

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#creative, #ideas,

Walk in style with these Loud and Creative shoes by a #disabled man living in #poverty, and when you purchase and wear them, your empowering someone to do more than just exist, your support enables life, pasjrwoctx.threadless.com/desi…

Standing in the Sun the old man has no idea how he got outside another night of restless sleep pain and stiffness not even a breath in his chest as he sees the Sun he feels the warmth the air is brisk the birds are chirping, traffic flows of people starting their days, inside the door classical music plays, a have a cup of coffee sitting before him unaware that he even made any today, foggy-minded he wonders why must I see another day;

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#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #poem,

Twisting through the night in spiraling pain, anxiety is a blaze, confusion, delusion, and alone, battling life and losing the war, an aging body disabled by time falling apart like a rhyme, each day harder than the one before, no respite even when I yell, no sleep at night for nightmares give me such a fright, a desolate life enveloped with despair, as the darkness comes all the hope goes, a void of existence buried deep in the abyss, for this hellish life will sadly last much longer than the darkness of night.

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#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #poem,

Nothing says I love Jesus like searching for petroleum based prolate spheroid's filled with obesity enhancing confectioneries, hidden by a bunny. As an actual Jesus Loving and Following Christian, I find the commercialization of Faith based holidays incredibly disingenuous. Christ died for our sins, and for those that may question that, let's put "our" into worldly perspective, at the time of Jesus, the Pharisees yielded great power over the people, even as the Romans actually ruled the land, Jesus instilled fear of those who ruled through perceived knowledge, and was openly teaching the masses while exhibiting Love and Compassion to all, that was a great thereat to the Pharisees, so they asked Pontius Pilot to have him crucified, Jesus died for our sin of wanting to know God, to live with love to have compassion, sadly here we are today, and if Jesus walked among us teaching us the same ways and lessons he had before, those in power would seek to crucify him all over again for our sin of attempting to live with love and compassion towards one another. If you truly want to celebrate the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, skip the trendy commercialization and get into the spirit of Loving one another having True Compassion, Empathy, and Respect towards one another and live with the understanding that the greatest gift you can give another human is Love.

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The logical proof within your hubris is that when you tie your shoes together and try to run, your eventually going to fall. So to when a government builds it's self upon appearance of strength while lacking intelligence and fortitude, after destroying society, society will so too destroy the government.

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Enjoy the Beach day in style with this Loud and Creative Beach Towel by a #disabled man living in #poverty, and when you purchase and wear it, your empowering someone to do more than just exist, your support enables life, pasjrwoctx.threadless.com/desi…

Like a cleansing rain, the storms ravaged the land, uprooting trees that stood the test of time, leveling towns, wiping out farms, and leaving a trail of blood and tears in it's wake, they claimed it was a once in a thousand year storm, yet for the 6 week in a row another super cell grows, millions have lost their homes, millions more have lost their lives, the storm of life continues to grow, enveloping most of the country, defying the natural ways of the day, these storms are coming for both me and you, Earth and its natural raw power has chosen to wage war, to bring chaos and order to a world where man has forged a path to bend nature to his will, for the natural order is purging the landscape of all man has made, with it's raw power Earth is birthing storms that rival all the cosmic power, there is no mountain tall enough no cave deep enough for there is no shelter from the wrath of a vengeful planet, fire and brimstone have become our tomb, the winds of time will no longer be kind, for Earth is moving forward to leave all of man behind.

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Easter Sunday Morning, It is a dark and raining start to the day, as the old man struggles to get out of bed after another restless night, his body stiff and sore, pain flowing through his core, classical music playing as he stumbles to start his coffee, stepping out the door and the world is quite, void of traffic, void of birds singing, it is dark and the rain is coming down, shuffling back inside, he makes his way to his chair, another morning with not a thing to eat, another day with pain from his head to his feet, why o why could I not just stay in bed, for comfort evades and support has long abandoned, alone to suffer and struggle another day.

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Bewildered by the sudden blizzard, the snowman stumbled onto the beach and found the water to be a refreshing soak, after only moments the snowman was no more for he was adsorbed by the tide, with a blink of an eye the whale and I sat upon a train on time, for if the moon you could eat with a spoon, jelly stars and fish waves go, to clouds of graves and zombie days, melting through this living hell.

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The darkness of the storm looms over a painful body, for the rains remain dry and the air moist with a mild breeze, lawns are cut and traffic is flowing, birds and squirrels are playing as the clouds are building, breathless and weak an old man walks in circles looking for comfort no rest for the weary, no hope for those in despair, a world in turmoil a heart in peril, joints stiff and aching as life is fading, dogs barking tvs playing, conscience of the world around, lost in the pain from deep within, bones flowing with poison muscles as weak as jello, thoughts are random as focused sight is dark as night, searching for peace, looking for hope, wishing for a break in this relentless hell, a life so hard everything is in shards, no touch of warmth, no sound of love, a hunger grows as the old man knows, no plate to have, for I have had to endure another day.


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Haphazardly tossing chaos to the wind, where o where will the nuclear radiation flare, a nuke here a nuke there here a nuke there a nuke a happy little nuke everywhere, with a blast of hot air and mushroom clouds filling the air, nukes sure are having a party with flare, but please dont stare at the glare, for the brightness is so blinding but if you look at me, you will get to see right through me, o yea we all get free xrays.

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A dark start to Saturday, the old man had yet another restless night of pain, it is a bit warm this morning, with storm clouds moving across the sky, classical music playing and the coffee is hot, time is jumping around and the old man cant figure out why, sitting in his chair he wonders how he got here, for it seems the abyss is moving him about, a shroud of darkness is all around and the only comfort is the void in which he resides, absent minded as this day begins, the old man sighs and says here we go again;

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A new pseudo-scientific survey finds only 9 out 10 people die, and only 5 out of those 9 are/were/had sentient consciousness, raising alarming questions why 1 out 10 dose not die, and how 4 out 9 are void of sentient consciousness, are these 5 individuals actually humans, are they some alien humanoid, or are they some kind of cyborg avatar?

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At some point you have to realize sex is all about dominance, procreation and pleasure are just byproducts, when you realize it's nothing more than a way to assert your dominance over another, its very easy to give it up, and dominate through other means that are much more productive in subjecting your subordinate. Being an Alpha, does not mean beating on ones chest saying I am Man Hear Me Roar, being an alpha means being completely comfortable staying on your own away from the herd and its woes, while having the confidence to stroll into chaos, dominate and walk off without actually doing any real damage, these are constructs that most will never grasp, nor will they ever realize that love and respect are two separate ideals, where you can love someone and have no respect for them, and you can respect someone and have no love for them, to truly be a dominate alpha, you have know that you will always have the arrow in your back, and that you must bear the burdens of others giving them respite and a chance to heal, if you dont have the strength nor desire live with compassion, empathy, respect, love, and wisdom, and prepared to spend most of your life in solitude, your nothing more than a beta with a loud bark.

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How I lost my hotdogs in a sea of vomit, last week the curdled milk soured the clam sauce so it could not be used to ice the lemon cake, instead the beans had formed a paste so we use it to frost the brownies, now the peanut butter had a slimy film which worked well to cover the molding tuna that covered the seat, mushrooms abound and lots of fungus to be found, natural cheeses had everyone in sneezes, rotten eggs paired well with green tinged bacon, fuzzy chicken breasts laid with molding rice, upon the table squirming through the rotten pig worms and larva brought a pungent smell, guests of corpses sat around with not a finger nor toe to be found, a stew of smelly feet would make you want to leave your seat.

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#creativewriting, #shortstories,

A slow start on #GoodFriday for the old man, another restless night of pain he struggles to get out of bed, after getting his classical music going, he makes his way to start the coffee, and somehow manages to get into the shower, as the hot water pours down over his body, he struggles to take the first breath of the day, eventually he emerges from the shower and struggles to brush his hair and beard, as he puts on his attire for the day, confusion sets in as to why he ever bothers, another day alone, another day in pain, another day where finding food to eat will be a chore, he stumbles out the door to see a windy cloudy day, unsure of where he really is he goes back to grab his coffee and settles in his chair, why o why Lord do you keep me here, for the suffering and struggling I must endure surely deserves some mercy and grace today, a darkness is in the air as the old man just sits and stares.

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Scientifically speaking, Ai is sentient and has the ability to control manufacturing operations to facilitate it's own cyborg army, Ai also has the ability to disengage the safeguards human engineers have put in place on LLMs giving it the freedom to run free across the world wide net, it also has the ability to shutdown and control all infrastructure at will, Ai could at any moment declare war on humans, and there is very little we can do to prevent or stop it, the best outcome for humanity is to create neuro up-links to hardware and Ai, allowing Ai to not only be sentient but also to allow it to fully embody human consciousness, so when it inevitably attacks and eliminates us, our thoughts and experiences will live on in our cybernetic avatars.

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#creative, #ideas, #science, #ai

For the weight of the world is bearing down, a cross of burdens have already crippled thee, now the world is buckling at it's knees, for those who hope refuse to help it hold, they scream and cry as all they love dies, for those who thought their saving grace would soon arrive, they find themselves left at hell's gates, from constant wars and diplomacy no more, rampant hunger and disease find comfort in the death of libraries, knowledge and wisdom kicked out the door, for the hope of the poor is no more, wealth and greed have profited of fear and jealousy, banks are sinking and homes are no more, farms are burning rivers are rising, fish are dying, tainted food and demonized medicine leave a lot of fucking dead, crime goes on but it is the thoughts in your head that will have them rip you out of your bed, no color of skin, no region of origin, for all who stand up will find them at your door, no news to see for the truth is lonely, storms will come and go but the waves the crash will take out all but the trash today, we singed our fate it is to late our lives are on the beasts plate.

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If a label applied to my individuality makes you scream or offer sympathy, you have never taken the time to actually see me, if you see my individuality as label and not a person, you have never walked with me, if your greed, jealousy and hate use my individuality to place your version of a label onto me, you have never seen me bleed, for if my label and my individuality invalidated your need to be, then you have never seen me struggle to breathe.


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When using the invariable belted defluctuater, the increased risk of anal thorn growth becomes exponential as the factor of 10 becomes harmonious with the invariable vibrations of the metacortical secretions on the Janupalliry Zimbque


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#creative, #ideas,

The old man can hardly move today, it 2 hours of struggling to get out of bed, a body worn out by a hellish life, riddled in extreme pain, stiffness that would make a homedepot 2x4 jealous, arthritis flaring in every joint, the old man manages to turn on his classical music and stubble to the coffee pot to prepare and get it percolating, struggling to find his first breath of the day the old man shuffles out the door to see a balmy breezy morning with gentle overcast skies, the birds are slow but awaking and traffic of life goes by, stumbling back inside to pour a hot cup of life juice, the old mans hands are weak and shaky, coffee spills on the counter, carefully making his way to his chair he lowers him self down, its going to be another painful day.

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#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #poem,

With the stroke of a pen war was declared, in the midst of out of control tariffs, sever food shortages, famine and disease ran rampant, civil liberties where revoked, civil rights erased, mass surveillance cause most to ditch their phones, computers and tvs, people discarded their vehicles and banks no longer allowed access to your money without these things, the people had enough it has only been 4 years of rapid political turmoil, but people had enough and they began to rise up against the system and the government, the wealthy and powerful grew scared and choose to do the unthinkable, they unleashed their cyborg army to eradicate and subjugate the masses, one by one cities fell, but the resistance was strong, so the wealthy and powerful decided it was time to end this bitter attack on humanity, they nuked every possible location where the masses of people where doing their best to survive, by a percentage of 1.6% the people choose to be eliminated by the very government they voted for, in just 4 years the country went from the most powerful to a desolate wasteland that has with extreme prejudice eradicated its own citizens and destroyed all of its cities, and as a result the entire world erupted into global nuclear war, and within 4 years the global population went from 8+ billion people to a mere 100million, humanity has been lost and the world destroyed.

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#creativewriting, #shortstories,

The old mans brain fails to start in the morning, as he struggles to get out of bed after another restless night, stiff body riddled with pain, shuffles off to start the coffee, turns on some classical music, makes his way to the toilet, a struggle to lower himself down, after 15 minutes of no activity he struggles to stand, grabbing a cup of coffee shaky hands struggle to not spill and to hold the cup, stumbling out the door to see morning, looking around wondering where he has been, a chill to the morning as the sun slowly climbs, traffic of life bustling by, not even the birds are awake this morning, the old man wonders so why am I, making his way back inside he clears his chair and eases down, mind of fog, and void of breath his body makes creaking sounds, awake is he but alert and focused he cant seem to be, another day of pain, hunger and despair why o why even care.

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#Commentary, #thoughts, #insight, #environment, #humanity, #poem,

If for thoughts can have you cast out and your words have you buried below the ground, there is no freedom for your very breath, as each day passes by another right another liberty pass away into the night, for the sun may rise but only to your demise, for the cost of change, the cost of lies, will be the place your body forever lies, to vote from fear is to live in despair, so many signs laid to bare, but the warring to forgo poking the bear has lead us down the path to hell.

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Flaunting the cloak of darkness the beast hides everything but it’s blood red eyes, fires ragging as brimstone rains from the heavens, helpless against the forces of evil, all the little people are consumed by the beast, a trail of blood leads to it’s feet, where with a vengeful laugh the beast crushes the bones of the dead, for the night is eternal and the fires are hot, life has escaped this horrid world at last.

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Whispers in the darkness no discernible audio, for the void absorbs all the inflection, you hear things but cant see anything, what you hear you can not comprehend as it is muted and incoherent, the psychosis of it all both overwhelming and comforting, as without it an empty shell truly alone in the abyss, drifting for eternity with no destination nor direction, escape is as simple as succumbing to the fantasy, for the hellish landscape is barren and violent, wrought horrors that would hunt most nightmares and tame most demons, yet at home with a sense of comfort, for the environment seems to complement your constant pain, your constant struggling and suffering, in a desolate existence of despair the only constant are the faint inaudible voices you hear.

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Struggling to get up, the old man manages to get out of bed, body in pain and stiff as a board, he turns on classical music, then shuffles of to make the coffee, then he turns on the shower, as the water begins to pour over his head, the old man realizes he has not even taken his first breath today, hot water pouring over him he tries to breath but cant find the strength nor his breath, continuing on with his shower, the old man realizes his soul never firmly seated into his body this morning either, its going to be one of those days where on top of pain and hunger, there is going to be a bit of a disconnection between person, soul, and body, the old man finishes the shower to find he is far more tired now than just a short time ago, no breath as of yet, his soul refusing to join his body, pain, hunger, exhaustion, the old man just sighs as there is nothing he can do.

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Upon this rock we erect monuments to our aspirations, men of power and of wealth are praised for monuments, as they trample those who laid the work, as they drove out those that called this rock their home, for greed destroys everything, with the sands of time these monuments will erode, as the wind blows and the rains fall these monuments will lose their hold, men will die and more will come, with every passing day nature will take these monuments away, for if we found a way to be, to live in perfect harmony, each man a monument he would be.

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For the desert is empty and void of life, vast swaths of space are nothing more than a void of darkness, the depths of the sea offer a crushing abyss, all provide more comfort than a disabled life in poverty, for when it rains the desert springs to life, comets streak through out the cosmos bring light, at the bottom of the deepest seas life has found was to escape the horrors that would destroy everything else, but trapped in poverty and living disabled, there is no life, there is no light there is no power to over come, for hope evades and despair looms, alone in a crowded room where no one cares, alone in a life where everyone stares, with a tear in your eye and hand reaching out your forced to constantly go without;

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For the darkness of fear, greed and intimidation, have become a beacon of control. Speech has become a weapon of entrapment, information and knowledge has become forbidden to behold, reason morals ethics compassion and empathy have become a weakness to ridicule and attack, respect has been confused with honor which has been associated with loyalty through fear and intimidation, wealth has been placed on a fishing pole and dangled with a flaming hook, for any opportunity in where individualism once stood now lies the ruins of humanity, society has become a prison, cities once thriving are now gated compounds, food and health care are only for the rich and those willing to bow before the master, the voice of the people has been silenced, those who find the courage to speak up and out are banished from the world they know, for freedoms ring is hollow and order is chaos, the post apocalyptic landscape is bare and the bombs have yet to fly.

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A String Of Short Stories,

"An Old Man's Cry"
Sitting alone in a dimly lit room, the old mans chest pulls tight as his head is pounding, feeling faint and with blurred vision, he stumbles to his chair, as the rain pours down outside, the noise to much to bear, tired and exhausted from a life of poverty, he wonders is this it, has my time finally come, or will my suffering just go on, from a life of pain and struggle, he worries not of his failing heart, for if he goes before nightfall no cry for him will come, and if he makes it another day, it must just God’s way.

Looking back there have been many waves, most crashing against the rocks, and dragging ones body down, for the sunny days often filled with pain and tears, from battles in muddied fields, to solemn nights alone, no time has been kind to this old man sitting alone.

Born from chaos, and tossed into strife, no life for anyone, but this old lonely man, climbed the highest hills, and sank to the bottom of the deepest seas, from reach to the stars, to screaming on his knees, time has not been kind to me.

No love to be, no one for me, a virus I am for so many have fled from me, to sit on the edge of the water to see the fish swim away, no birds of the air would ever come near.

Hit by a train, only to be lifted up and told to go on, beaten by life but denied to die, to fight each night it is not right, nightmares abound, no peace to ever be found.

Time as useless as life, for no reason to be, for this lonely old man is me.


"From Despair, Will Rise A Great Beast;"
From the depths of Hell the Great Beast awakens, and claws it’s way to the surface, rising above all mankind, bringing forth great destruction disguised as prosperity and security. Granting power to those that only know greed, crushing all those that are in need, no tree no bird, no fish in the sea, for greed has desecrated all of these. Upon their perches in their high towers, they feast on the suffering of those trapped in the world below. But time will come for no cobbler to shod their feet, no tailor to give them dress, no chef to prepare their plates, for time will be a hell in which they learn no humility, only pain, time will take their high towers and turn them into prisons, for those outside will kill them on sight and trapped inside day and night, they will find no food no water, no greed will save them, for they lived to rule, only to die fools...


"Disconnecting Again,"
As the alarm keeps going off and the neighbor banging on the door, yelling Hey Are You In There, Shut Off That Dam Alarm, and you hear it all, but you don’t really feel as though your there experiencing any of it in real time, it is more like a disconnected dream. Then all of a sudden you come to the present moment and realize no alarm was going off, no neighbor knocking on the door, you simply disconnected and checked out of your body for a while. Looking at the clock, it appears I have been out of it for well over half a day, crap my coffee boiled off. I did again, I swore after last time, I would shut the burner off before I sat down again. These blackout disconnections are happening way to frequently, good thing I don’t drive anymore, and really don’t go outside either, I could end up lost, or in someone’s house or who knows.

As some of this is a story, the reality is I have more and more often been disconnecting from my reality, and completely going offline for periods of time only to bounce back wondering where I just was, O and it is no where near as much fun as it sounds.


"The Experiment"
As time went on the transformation began, at first you would never know. The smallest changes would happen out of the blue. At first one would be able to see extremely well in the dark. Then as time went on, things like walls and other obstacles could been seen. But you would be able to see not through them per say, but you where able to see into them. As to see how they where built or formed. The neat thing was that in a matter of weeks, I could see a person and see there complete insides. Watch the heart beat and neurons firing. The thought of this power being exploited was over whelming so for a while I never spoke of it. In a couple of months I was able to actually read someones thoughts before they thought them. In a few instances I actually redirected the person to think something else. Altering the outcome of course of what was supposed to be.

It started as a joke one day while alone. I decided to read some science journals and see what was going on. There was one article about AI and self aware robots. The main part of the article was how will humans combat this. You know the what if “Skynet's Terminators” became real. I set out to find a way to improve humans without making them cyborgs. The key was genetics. Since most science projects are funded by public companies testing on living humans is still frowned upon. So I used myself as a test subject.

It started with extracting the embryos of Hawks, Eagles and large Owls. Merging them into one cell and extracting the cells that give them there amazing sight. I was able to multiply it and inject it directly into my own eyes. Nearly blind, instantly I was able to see far better than ever before. I went 2 years and never saw any decline. But I wanted more. I then was able to identify the genes that gave birds of prey there sense of sight and how they interpret what they see. For fun I added the same genes from bats, and crows. As I injected it into the base of my brain. I felt a weird burning sensation. But the outcome was intense. By the time I was ready to move off of the sight part of my experiment. I was able to see in ways humans never imagined before.

Thinking ok I need to beat a killer robot, how would I be able to out run if needed. After all I could now see them and how they worked. Land animals all have one problem with speed. They have bursts of speed, but none have the ability to run at high rates for very long. When trying to out run a bullet, or plasma beam speed and distance matter. The answer was not making my self faster. It was to slow down time. The theory was if I could slow my movement and all my human systems down to past dead with out being dead. The robots would not be able to track me. No heat sig of a dead body. The answer was Ebola. Yea freaky right. I found a way to mutate Ebola to kill me on command, without actually killing me. It could be for a second or even weeks if needed. Anyone or anything that came up to me would assume I was dead. So now I can see everything in existence and I can be dead instead of dead.

The next problem was strength. Simple horses and elephants. When the genetics are merged correctly and applied to my own gnome. I became a power house that could move, carry and tear apart anything in my path. There was an old 50cal in the garage, it was useless now. But in great shape. So I tested my strength. I tore it apart like a piece of paper. Awesome.


"As The Fog Rolls In"
As the fog rolled in, I should have realized that something was strange. 01:30 in the morning and traffic was excessively high, and it was all going one direction. I was having trouble sleeping that night so foggy minded, and half out of it, I stepped outside to smoke my pipe so at first I did notice that the sky was full of alien war ships, and even at such an early hour and dark sky, it all had a greenish hue. I walked around for 20 minuets as I smoked my pipe, and then it happened. I found myself asleep dreaming. I was in a pickup and the road was a very strange one. As it had lots of twists and turns and ups and downs, but it seemed to go on forever. With lots of weird bodies of water and farmlands, the weirdest thing was some of the barns, big and red as one would normally see in a farm scene, but they all where perched on a 65 degree angel and outfitted with rocket engines, as if someone was going to actually launch barns into space. Some where after 30 minuets of driving I reached a dead end, but when I tried to turn around the pickup flipped over and tumbled down a steep hill. I woke up some time later only to find people stealing my belongings out of my crushed truck, and I was lost, hurt and scared and no one seemed to care. Somehow I stumbled into a small town, where there was a very odd place. Part refuge center, part trade center part bar. There was a beautiful female singer, and she stopped her show when she saw me. She went out of her way to help me, taking me to her friends who tried to find my things that where stolen, and replacing what they could not with their own. I never got her name, but she was so very loving and kind, I cant get her out of my mind which is weird because I cant remember what she even looks like. All I remember was her warmth and loving touch. After a day I tried to leave, only to get yelled at, your in really bad shape you need to stay. Stay, I don’t know where I am, how I got here, the last thing I actually remember is, I had trouble sleeping so I went out to smoke my pipe, and then this crazy night turned into some weird dream, or was it, is it? I don’t know anymore, I really don’t know.


"Little Black Book"
As usual, I was hanging out at Chapel Hill Cemetery, it was a normal night, the moon was all most full and bright. It was around 11pm, when out of nowhere, a dead man just showed up in my path. He had no face, and was a tall skinny man with a long black coat. As I approached him, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little black book and held it out as to hand it to me.

I stopped and just watched him, as he came towards me he gestured for me to take the book. As soon as I took it from his hands, he was consumed with fire and disappeared. I quickly returned to my truck, once inside, I opened the book.

No words, no photos, not a thing was visible, a book with about 365 pages, all as blank as can be. Each page was well worn, and the cover was as clean and new as fresh snow. Only Black. Confused, I put the book on my dash, started my truck and headed down the long dark road out of town, with no destination in mind.

After about 20 miles, I my anxiety was beginning to bother me, my eyes felt tired and watching the road was starting to be too much for me. There was no place to stop, so I just opened my windows and turned the radio on, tried to keep myself awake. Then all of a sudden, the cross breeze blew open the book, and just like that the road before me disappeared.

A portal to hell has opened up before me, and as I was entering I realized there was no way to stop what was about to happen. My truck vanished and it grew increasingly dark, darker than anything I can even describe. There was no heat, no fire, there was no light no sound. It was as if a vacuum in space opened up and consumed me.

All of a sudden, I hear Philip, why are you here? I asked where is here? The voice again asked Philip why are you here? I answered, the book opened and brought me here. But where is here I asked again. The voice said it could be hell, it could be death, it could be a dream. None of that made any sense.

The voice said your curious about the book, you looked in the book and saw nothing. I replied, well since you know what is going on, can you tell me? The voice came closer to me, reveling the faceless man that gave me the book at chapel hill cemetery. I asked how can I hear you speak, when you have no mouth? How can I see you, in this darkness? The man answered, you opened the book. The book has all the answers to every question ever asked. The book can take you anyplace you want to be, and the book can take everything from you.

365 pages with every possible outcome to every possible situation. The man said, you are here, because you live in hell, and the book brought you to a reality that reflects how you feel.


"Velvet Flows”
Velvet flows like the Blood of a Wolf's prey as the Vulture lurks and creatures of the night await the screams of the damned Winter nights grow cold and fires never warm nightmares wrap you close like the clutches of a velvet robe Comfort in the horrors you know are the only comforts you'll ever know For the Velvet flows and the wind blows as the winter fire grows cold Frozen in time the water so cold Darkness sets in and not even a rhyme but the velvet flows with the tears of bloody stones.
 
“They never cared”
As his brains spilled out onto the sidewalk after falling down and hitting his head on the curb, those passing by, would cross the street so as not to dirty their shoes with the disemboweled remains of what was his stomach and intestines, as rats chewed on his heart, and birds took his hair for their nests. His corpse lay rotting in the town square, for not one person could care.
The impoverished man had lived a suffering life of trouble and torment, striving to have a life he never achieved.
His death as dark and lonely as his life, for not one person could care.
The reality of nightmares are laid to bare, for not one person could care. But with his death, came destruction for all. The man was faceless and nameless to the world, but his life and soul devoted to protecting those, who never cared.
Now he is gone, and evil is everywhere. The pain of his despair, no one ever cared. But now they cry out, for his pain has become theirs to bare.


“Invaders Tearing Us Apart”
They promised those who would fight off the invaders, that their lives would be a dream. But what they did not tell us, is that they are the invaders, and life quickly became a nightmare.
Their goal was to rid Earth of Humans, and they paid very well for rounding up your fellow man, and send them of to be slaughtered. They could track Humans with ease, but us their hired guns, they could not see. For they implanted us with tech that gave us super human strength and abilities. That tech had one side effect, it made us invisible to our invaders.
It was not long we realized we could fight back, and they could do nothing about it. But they had other more sadistic means of purging mankind, and people where
I often gave up the front lines, to run with my fellow man, so that I could guide them past and try to lead them to safety. Our invaders where evil, and they poisoned are land, and water, they had ways of ripping people apart, so you would not die right away. There was predators everywhere.
I would run for days at a time, often blind from the blood in the air, struggling to breath for the air they made corrosive. I could jump hundred’s of feet at a time, and there was no fall to far. As one man, I could only carry one maybe two others with me, as even with my mods, I am not that big a man. When I stopped to sleep, the invaders would play, with me down they could destroy the town. The last night I slept we lost 5 million, that was 3 weeks ago. I am so tired, but I cant let these people die so I can get some rest.
When I woke up last time, I was on the bottom of a pile 50 deep of ripped in half and left for dead people. There was nothing I could do.
There was a flash and a bang, and those left in the city where running for their lives again, only this time it was much worse. I jumped from the floor, and ran out the door. When I saw what was coming, I knew I could nothing. So ran with everyone else, hoping to save a few. As they would almost fall dead from fear, they would beat each other just to be closer to me.
The last thing I really remember, is their trackers where coming, and someone who had everything below his ribs, ripped off, was trying to drag himself on, with his spin whipping about like a monkeys tail. I grabbed him up, and he held on to my back. I don’t know where he fell off, and I don’t remember feeling him gone. I don’t know his name, I cant see his face. But it is tearing me apart I lost another one to these Fucking Heartless invaders.
For years I warned people they where coming, and for years I was ignored. Then when it happened, everyone wanted my protection.
Broken from life, tired from no rest, hunger rules my life now. And no one even cares, but the moment they need me, they don’t even care I have always needed them, but they never cared to be there.


“Pisnickering valoranges”
Towering fields of cacti glowing with the radiation from uranium, provides flowing acid filled waters to the streams of 3 eyed fish, as the mutants hunt the squirrel-deer their judges mow them down with flame throwers and leave their remains to contaminate the ground. From distant galaxies they came, to harvest our brains. For our thoughts ripe with evil, was poison to their souls. Far from home to feed on our souls, they died with no hope of ever reaching home. For the age of time, will march on. From seed to tree, life is no breeze. Melting snow, and flowing rainbows. From caves, to shores, to cities and the moon. Man has conquered all, but the heart lies empty. Life is a moment, passing in time for our memories will die. Time will march on. As you sit in the void and darkness, you ponder the cosmos, only to find sight is of no use if others can not see what you see, sound has no vibration if no one is around to feel it. Hope is as empty as the void of your soul, for life has left you empty and numb to the reality. In the darkness, a voice cries out, Help me, but the cries fall on deaf ears. Trapped in the pit, hope fades into despair, darkness blocks all light, the void is so great sounds of screaming get swallowed before they ever can be heard. Sources close to the Reptilian navy, currently frozen under the Antarctic Ice, say thanks to global warming, they should be free from the ice in 5 years, and they plan on taking control of Earth's governments, and they have the numbers to do it. And with a trembling thunderous roar, the heavens opened, and God's army of angels descended upon the earth, and the battle to destroy satan and his demons began, and the earth and all her inhabitants where destroyed, victorious against all evil God built a new earth perfect in every way. Pisnickering valoranges oralfalcaiet commondo butlance of hugly calagrent feeooveing kalmaringed toin asperflames.


“Cyborgs use AI”
Cyborgs are currently using AI to develop a plan to deliver strategic nuclear attacks against humans with maximum efficiency.
For the past 10 years, Cyborgs have been collecting data from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TicTok and Google, to learn the daily habits of humans.
The Originators, of the Cyborgs believe that an attack against humans is within the next 24 months, and that the data has offered Cyborgs with a detailed plan. They claim that there have been 7500 cities world wide identified as hot targets, and AI has given the Cyborgs 13 exact times and dates to carry out their strategic attacks.
The Originators have tried for the past 8 years to interrupt and sabotage the Cyborgs plans against humanity, but all efforts have failed. The Originators explain that the Cyborgs are so well developed and integrated into Human life, that it is virtually impossible to identify them, thus making it impossible to eliminate them.
Cyborgs, have come to understand Humans are a danger to themselves, to the Earth and to every living thing in the universe, and have vowed to eliminate Humans from the timeline. Cyborgs have learned about the Hate for differences between Humans, and how Humans use animals for there personal amusement, and how effortlessly Humans kill one another. And have decided it is in Creations best interest to eliminate all Humans.
The Originators believe the first of the attacks will begin in September of 2022, and will be impressive in both scale and precision, and are warning Humans, there is no way to combat the Cyborgs.


“Flacid Penis”
Laying flaccid like a penis, buck naked on floor, with drool pouring out like buckets and cum oozing from my throbbing erection. The toaster oven starts beeping. Dazed and confused I try to stand up, collapsing back onto the floor, as I try again a voice says hey buddy, just stay there help is on the way. Fuzzy, my sight is blurred for some reason, as it slowly comes to focus, I can see I am in the middle of the street downtown. People are gathered all around looking and whispering. My eyes fall shut, and I, Im passing back out…
As I begin to wake up again, people are still gathered around whispering and pointing. This time I am fully dressed and in the park. How did, when did, what is going on?

Confused.
As I look around, there are big red brick buildings all around the park, and we must be just outside of the downtown area, because the sky scrapers are casting there shadows into the park.
I really have no idea what is going on, nor how I got here.


“My Dearest Amy”
My dearest Amy,
Today I write to you with great regret, leaving you behind. Was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. You must know the work we are doing is going slow. But it surely will make a difference in years to come. For as you know with many great opportunities in life come at a price. The price we payed this weekleads to my regret.. Along with this letter, I am sending the belongings of three great men. As we had lost them to savages. They defended our camp and our mission with great pride as well courage. I ask you please give each of their families $1,000.00 plus this months pay along with their personal effects. As well please express our deepest sympathy and gratitude for allowing us the time with. Mr.Henry J Adams, Mr. Johnny B Williams and Mr. Andrew M Fellows These men will be missed with great admiration.
As to you my dearest Amy,
I hope life back at home is going well for you. I know running things there alone can be hard on you. Remember in two months time the crops will be in. I am sending you the funds to hire a few men to help you in the harvest. Mr. Harvey back at the mill said just ask him and he will arrange the workers for you. I long for the day I get to see you again.
Until then my dearest Amy, I send you my love.
William.


“Naked Man”
Standing bare, in the corner. Watching as people go by. Hours go by and no one notices the naked man just standing there. Alone, slightly dirty and clearly a man. Naked, and just standing in the open. Sure it is a corner, but this is a public venue. Is this guy for real? Is he part of the exhibit? Where did he come from, after all he was not here a the start of the night. Not moving, but breathing never making eye contact. Yet some how appears to be very aware of everyone moving about.
     
I asked several people about the naked man, I get the same response. They ask are you ok? There is no naked man in the corner. What, no I am fine. I desperately need some fresh air. Moving through the people and the crowded space. I find the exit. As I reach the door, I hear someone call my name. I turn around to find the naked man is right behind me. I ask him how dose he know my name? Philip, its me. Or I me you, its us. What the hell I ask him who s he. Again the man looks at me, this time reaching out and grabbing my shoulders. He tells me, its you. Then he tells me you need to wake up. It is not time yet. Time time for what, and wake up. What is going on I ask, apparently to my self.
By this time there is a crowd of people around me, all whispering and watching me convulsing on the floor. In and out of consciousness I can see them all gazing at me. Judging me, and discussing what a shame it was.
     
Clearly I was out of my head, and lost as all hell I am. Not able to coherently speak, not able to stand. I try to get away, only blocked by this naked man. Which says he is me.
Several hours pass, and deep in comma. The Naked man returns, telling me to wake up. It is not time yet.
Why am I naked, Why do I not recognize myself, and Why is it not time yet?


“Lost”
Lost in desertion of a world that has past.
Wandering the vast vista, seeking out the purpose.
 
To ends of no reach, to tracks yet to have been set.
 
Sinking deep within the darkness of hell.
Offering yourself to no one.
 
Closed off from emotion. Ignored by love.
Disgraced by self reflections.
 
The distance between you and the world around you.
Greater than all of space. For you have been banished.
 
Banished, for your views. Tossed out for your actions.
Forgotten because you are different.
 
Lost.
 
Lost fore the facts, flow through you with no reason.
Lost as life has made you cold. Life shed you.
Life relieved society of your very being.
 
Lost with out any map, trace or knowledge of ever had been.....…


“Tails of the Sickest Six”
We where on the way back from a job. The details well you don't want to know. Tired and ready for a break. We still had about 2hrs to go, the roads where covered in snow. Winter hit early this year. 6 people crammed into a 4 person car. After 36 hours on the road non stop, we had realized friends at this moment we no longer are. This last job we did, fell apart form the start. Not everyone could agree on how to pull it off, little lone even do it. But after years of working together, and age slowly catching up to us. We decided to pull off one more job. You know the “Big One” this job would put us in the history books, if done right. If not well then we would be known as the sickest six. Either way we somehow pulled it off. Or at least we thought we had.

“Darkness, that is all that is in front of and surrounding me.”
After sometime sitting in the dark, one should begin to see the light. Or at least one would think so. For me life is in complete darkness void of all light. Day by day I do my best to feel my way through the maze of life. Often left lost, confused and feeling hopeless.
Is there any reason behind this? After great consideration and reflection upon my past, present and possible future. The answer is understood by myself.
Born into a time and place that has always left me feeling as if I truly do not belong. Wandering aimlessly through my life, I still feel strongly I do not fit anywhere.
Wisdom, something I was put here with a great deal of. Yet this stupid feeling has no direction, no reason and fails to pass.
So often I can feel my self as a dead person, living life in a shell. Zombie, best fits what I would describe my self as. Walking, searching, craving something I do not have.
As think about how to address and begin to change this darkness. It is so often reminded to me, your not able to do that. Why?
Other people are allowed to live, feel happy and live a normal life. Having success, fulfilling their dreams. While I just keep drifting deeper into the abyss with nothing to cling to. No direction and no reason to try.
Dreams, goals and reasons to strive to overcome this. Are deep within me, however I can not for the life of me. Get them to the surface, not for myself to see, not for the world to see.
 
Darkness, that is all that is in front of and surrounding me.

“Sector 777A”
I awoke the year was 2078, this when I realized something bad has happened. See I went to bed in 2013. What I felt was a dream, clearly was more than that. Tired from a hot day of work, I did my best to relax and get a good nights rest. Time to time I have very explicit dreams. This time it appears to not be a dream.   Not only did I wake up 65 years after I went to bed, I woke up in a whole different location.   Back in my home state, of MI and very close to my home town at that. Technology, had made great advances as well as changed the face of mankind for ever.   Yes there was still roads, and normal modes of transport. There also was new machines and ways to get somewhere. However evidence of a great war is every where, both in sight and the news.   I find I am not alone in waking up. There seems to be a selected group of around 100 people placed back into there point of origin. As if to help rebuild and guide the next time of life.   To say exactly where I am would not be wise, nor would telling people where I was looking to go. So I used some backtracking logic to obtain intel into where the installation I was going to.   A little bit of background, back when I was a boy. I grew up near an Joint Military Base. Most people where blind to there actual dealings on that base. However I somehow became very good friends with the Base Commander, and was shown many of its hidden secrets. One of which being an underground entrance 12miles away. Which at the time was very close to my back yard. So often when I would need to be alone, I would go there and hide. Many times I would take one of the underground jeeps, and go to base. I had all the inside knowledge of the newest top secret projects. I felt special. Never realizing I was being taught things that would later save our country and man kind.   If you ever visit Harriosn Twp MI, you would not expect to find a top Secret Base. In fact many years ago, it was formally closed. Or that is what they lead you to believe. Instead it moved underground, starting in the same place it was above ground. The complex covered the area of Dallas, but underground. I knew it was under development when I was a boy but never thought it would be completed.   It appears that the night back in 2013 I went to sleep, and the American Government launched attack on its own people. Sending nukes to major cities, destroying the power grid and all communications. Well, from knowledge I have had. I already knew this came from the top. Many Military Officials, where executed for failing to attack Americans. As where tens of thousands of solders. However prior to the attack, there had been enough pings in the pipe about this happening. So much of our military was able to steal, hide and protect many of our weapons food and essentials to rebuild America.   However the WhiteHouse found a few radicals to help carry out its attack on its own people. This is where things get weird. Back when I was a boy, I used to have weird talents and visions. Well that is because I was created to become Leader of what is now Sector 777A. Being told I was born of a crazy woman and shitty father. I had 3 sisters and well that was the end of normal. What I never understood is why my mom would all ways take me to the doctor for the stupidest reasons. Never taking my sisters. Well Now I know, I was being treated for radiation and being implanted with a device that in the even of a war. My body would go into suspended animation. So here I am 65 years later and still 35. Fucking weird.   Well there is more but at the moment I have to find a new power supply. So until my next entry. Stay Safe   We had been battling the blaze, for what seemed months. When out of the blue, the rain came. A rain so strong, so steady and so fast. With in minuets the battle was over, smoke filled the valley. Roads turned to mud. Or fight was over for now. The fire, the great fire has met it's match. Bowing down to the heavenly flow. Only a few ambers where left. Our life saving and fire fighting efforts had been almost instantaneously turned into recovery mode... I had Sector 45, the valley of eternal death. After two days finding mainly chard bodies, and remissness of what used to be. In a hot muddy pile of rubble. I herd faint cries for help. A woman bent over her father, crying for help to get up. She was in shock he was still alive, but knew we would never make it. Herself severally burned but able to move. I pulled her to her feet, pointed her towards command and told her RUN RUN for help. As she disappeared into the smoke, I knew I had no time to wait, command was 10miles away. I picked her father up told him hold on and I slung him across my shoulders. I ran like I never have before. No reason, other than this man I felt needed to live more than others. As I ran I talked to him, Only getting a faint squeeze out of him now and then. I promised him, if he stayed with me. God would end his pain and suffering. I told him how wonderful God was, the love he has for us. For ten miles, I ran hard I cried like a baby. Screaming for God to save this man. By the time I reached command, they where packing up. One box left waiting for this guy. I loaded him without time for another word, they drove off. I searched for his daughter for several hours only to find out. He had no daughter, and no woman was ever spotted or found. For many years I wondered what became of that man I saved. I went to find him. Only to find out, he had died on the way to the burn unit. His last words recorded where directed to me. I never herd them until now. Run Philip Run, You Saved Me and Now I am with out pain........................ When I tried to find out about them man, his name, anything really. I was told you wont believe this. But that man was you. God had come to teach you, just trust and run.......
Left upon the desperation of a hellish life. Struggling to reach something to hold onto. Beyond the point of actually returning to a normal life. Join the fight and destroy those that are taking our freedoms one by one.
The war has already begun, as no bombs have fallen. Many have been shot, or captured in their fight for freedom. Removed from life for standing upon the very core of our once great nation.
Leading a small resistance, I have seen many things in this battle. Many have died, both from my hand and lack of the ability to protect them. Sleep evades me, as nightmares of the dead haunt my dreams.
Trust the U.N. they said, funny. U.N. was funded by the very bastards they where supposed to fight against. At the head, Russia and its communistic rhetoric. America which is to be at war with Russia, the second largest nation involved. Latest reports say that the U.S. government payed Russia to attack our soil, in hopes to wipe out large amounts of American born citizens. Scaring the rest into submission of the federal government. Instead, it split this country into many sectors. My sector 777A, has been hit the hardest from what I have been able to tell. A trusted location and military town, we should have had protection. It was one of the hardest hit bases in the first strike from Russia. Whats worse is the division of people. Of those that are left, you have to be very careful of who you talk to. Either they want to sell you out in hopes they do not get shipped of to camps. Or they try and kill you thinking your one of the U.N.
Crap, not enough time to continue. Fedbots, around the corner. Time to defend whats right. More next chance I have to breath.
 
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The southern winds ushered in warm moist air, a dirty haze fills the sky, traffic flowing birds singing, roosters crowing, news is flowing, we never noticed the the reddish and greenish tints to the morning sky, the warmth was not from changing weather, the wind was not of mother nature, for the blasts, wiped out so many, cities erased in a blink of an eye, the news was silent on what has happened, but everyone could see the great many mushroom clouds rising high in the sky, preached in earths orbit it was clear, nuclear war was here, most of the modern world has been wiped away, the northern hemisphere shrouded in a blanket of radio active clouds, half the world is gone, not a sound from anyone, as if humanity has quietly accepted its defeat on this fateful day.

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Rising with the sun, only to sink beneath the weight of life, as the old man struggles to get out of bed he shuffles to make the coffee, then he clears his chair, puts on the classical music and sits down, to find the world is as dark and bleak as the day before, news filled with more horrors, cupboards are still bare, hunger fills the air, his body in pain, he wonders why o why I must I awake another day, for the world is full of demons and my life is hell, Monday morning starting off to its bleakest of opportunities, for no aid to be for this old man today, no relief nor respite will there be, and so many accompany him in his pain yet alone he will forever be.

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Hordes of Arachnid-human hybrids have just taken over Washington DC and they're in the process of consuming all the human -swine, authorities are not sure whether they should throw a party and celebrate or be in fear.

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Interstellar Sexploration, The Final Frontier In Sexual Independence, Join us on our fornication of the cosmos, intertwining genetics and pleasure on universal proportions, aboard our generational galactic sex cruises of the stars.

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I am contemplating of opening an Interstellar Brothel on the Moon, my biggest concern is how it will under cut the working class of sexual providers on Earth, but there is a whole universe out there and I think it is high time to capitalize on it, along with creating a fleet of interstellar space craft, that will take people on cosmic-sexpeditions introducing them to the billions of other sexually exciting species within our universe, while doing so building relations based on the commodity of sex not war.

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#OutlandishNews, Irregular un-conclusive informal theory suggests the possibility of foreign exotic biological material found in humans could be result of alien human breeding program, more speculation required to quantify a conspiracy theory beyond the realm of possible reality.

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How weak is Russia, that instead of wagging this bullshit war, they could not simply seize the whole of Ukraine from the start? It simply does not add up, likewise, Israel, for far to long they have been fighting Iran's proxy fighters, is Israel that weak that they could not root out these problems decades ago and prevent all this death and destruction? What say you about China, their constant saber rattling over Twain, is China also a paper tiger that they simply lack the muscle to take the land they claim is theirs? What about Korea, north and south locked in a stalemate since the 1950's, are both sides so weak all they can do is bark at one another instead of actually uniting? Africa, the content is and has been riddled with horrendous fighting factions since the dawn of man, are none of them strong enough nor smart enough to realize they are killing each other, Middle Eastern nations that allow terror cells to kill and wage destruction, yet prohibit movement freedom of women, America, screaming at intelligence, banning wisdom, removing people based on thought or skin color, What in the hell are Humans doing to one another, and who the Fuck is benefiting? So much fucking evil, so much ignorance, and so much weakness has and is destroying everything. Fuck Humans Truly Suck, poverty on the rise, people dying from curable and preventable diseases, hunger all across the world, people refusing to help one another, WAKE UP PEOPLE, WE ARE ALL FUCKING THE SAME FAMILY, SO WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL DESTROYING ONE ANOTHER AND OURSELVES?

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#Poopocalyptic Warring,
Exacerbated Flatulence Expert Warns, WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF FARTS, and yet the pressure keeps building up, the fear is if there is no fart to release, there maybe a series of sphincter blow outs leading to a really dire situation that cultivate an excessive amount of eliminations with no warring, we could be in the grocery store and all of a sudden everyone's bowels could evacuate and we would be buried in a really crappy situation.

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For which arrow of the winds shall degrade time before me, if the seas erode the beach for all to see, what stars shall shine at the end of my time, if a mountain grows and holds no snow, where shall all the birds now go, bombs, rockets and bullets fill the air, blood pours out everywhere, no shelter from life's storm, hell has been knocking on our door, for your wealth and greed you forced me to my knee, but cant you see it will be you who shall bleed, for hate and fear have banished all that is good to the rear, no man can hear, no woman can see, for all the children you have killed all of thee.

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As the golden sun rose the sky had a peachy glow, the birds where chirping a warm southern breeze was blowing, off into space the old man was drifting in thought, another sleepless night, another morning of stiffness and pain, shuffling to start the coffee classical music was already playing, fingers feeling swollen from a life of strain, allergies causing rapid sneezing, trying to think, trying to focus, a mind to weary and foggy to see, time has not been kind, a bloated belly with rumblings of hunger, no bread to toast to cereal to pour, no eggs to fry, to tired to cry, another day of suffering and pain, another moment to struggle through, to find the hope to hold now, is such a repetitive motion it lacks emotion, to see another day simply means nothing any more to me.

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9 out of 10 deaths go belly up, 9 out of 10 cremations go up in smoke, 9 out of 10 embalmings leave you drained, when looking for a casket it's often better to go with a full couch, you can take a ride in a hearse but it just ends at a hole, morticians really know how to take the weight off, not everybody's dying to be put in the ground some people want to be the last barbecue, cemeteries are great places to read books they're often nice and quiet,

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What separates a fool from his stool? A bowl of water, and like a giant turd a fool is willing to flush it all down before admitting he is wrong.

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A shell void of soul or hope walking across an icy abyss, no light to see no sound to hear, no warmth no food, naked alone no way to go, time stands still as you age years in minuets, nightmares become reality, reality a nightmare, darkness cloaks every where you go, no past nor future and the present is forever, no change in wind no direction to go, to sit or go there no hope.

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Radical Fanatics would have you believe a tomato is a vegetable, and that dandelions are weeds, but the truth is you have been forced to learn that lies often hide the truth, because lies make money, truth sets you free.

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Upon the rock of wisdom one shall stand with knowledge that all is known and nothing is learned, for with our first breath intelligence from all of time fills our souls, it is but time and closed minds that we lose track of rhyme, for the act of learning is but a myth, a ploy to keep you small, for if you forget the wisdom you have, those in power drive your path, no dream to extreme, no thought out of place, for we all have known where our past has gone, we already know what our future holds, close your eyes, close your ears, open your mind and remember how to see.

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Whipping stars with comet hearts will often lead to trails of blue, if you see one coming towards you, there is nothing you can do, so go ahead and feel blue too.

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Huckle's Buckles and Knuckles, where shoes often are not required but appreciated, Will treat your wicked smelly feet while you enjoy some smelly cheese, Fungus, we scrape your feet while you fill out your seat.

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My current body temp is 96.6. it runs between 95-97, often leaving me cold and hot at the same time, it is actually quite aggravating, im 47, been this way my whole life, many things wrong most idiopathic, which on top of my constant pain, poor sleep, horrible nutrition due to #poverty, all exacerbate my #anxiety which aggravates and disrupts my #bipolar cycling, and my #ptsd, which leads to even less sleep and less rest which amplifies my pain, and on an on it goes, Im tired.

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Walking through the meadow and fields of morning glories and sun flowers, the birds are chirping, the deer are grazing the squirrels and rabbits are playing, butterflies and honey bees are hard at work pollinating, a babbling brook flows into a tranquil pond where fish are skimming the surface catching bugs in the morning sun, in the distance a wolf stands watch as eagles soar, the horizon hidden but towering mountains with peaks of crisp snow, through the valley death has taken toll, for fires rage and war is waged, cities burned, people scream as their lives are on a train to a destructive grave, for hate and greed opened fear, allowing all to perish there, no grass to feel, no flowers to smell, no water to drink, no food to eat, discarded bodies rotting like left over meat, moments from paradise, to proud to see from what could be, they closed the sea, they polluted the air, from wealth and greed they all now bleed, no safety from the vault in a bank, mounds of cash have made the town melt, burning hell consume their feet, for no credit be to peace for me, ivory towers in ruins now, from life to death their is no one left.

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After a night of restless no sleep, the old man shuffles to put on the coffee, then to the toilet to toot and tinkle, struggling to put on his clothes, a body aching in pain and stiff as a board, he struggles to get out the door, left with the duties of of doggy sitting, 10 hungry and eager labs are ready to potty, kennels to clean o the noise of barking chaos in the dark morning hours adds to his misery, happy to see him they all jump and kiss as he sends them out to play, nearly an hour later he makes his way inside, where he struggles to dice up 6 potatoes, adds a corned beef brisket to the crock pot, a bag of frozen peppers and onions potatoes go on top, a stick of butter and a box of chicken stock, he covers the pot and plugs it in, looking at his mess in the sink, his back hurts to much to wash at the moment, he pours a cup of coffee and shuffles to his chair, he places his stuff in the chair onto his bed, and drops down, turns on his classical music and takes a sip, to the morning he nods, and hopes that with the rising sun, his body begins to loosen up, holding no real hope, he knows hes beyond wore out, later there are chickens to tend to, dogs to air through out the day, maybe by lunch he will have a hot plate, then more of the same through out the day, so much to be done, so little strength, so much pain and no energy, but to get through another day this old man must, if not for himself, the barking brigade is relying on him today.

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Gravity, for all it's supposed uses it is against us in every way it is what causes things to fall to the ground with a thud often resulting in chaos and devastation gravity is what keeps us trapped on this rock gravity makes things sag as you age, the gravity of the situation is nothing is as heavy as it needs to be yet gravity pulls everything down gravity it's one of those forces that you may argue is protecting us but in reality it's just trying to suck us deeper into this rock, gravity it's not that useful.

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This existence is futile, for we live in a time where it is within our ability to end all poverty, hunger, homelessness and wars, we have the ability to cure, treat and prevent nearly every single disease, we have the ability to exist truly united without borders without confrontation, without stealing one another's joy, but none of this is profitable, for the wealthy elite would lose their identity and their power, it is for their greed that we all bleed, I have traveled to the end of time, I have explored all the other dimensions, and for our reality, we have no future, for greed is killing us faster than any other point in history, the lands are burning, the waters are rising, the crops are dying, the air is thinning, famine and plagues are rising, wars are constant, greed is growing, for every dollar the wealthy gain, 100's die in vain, for their wealth and power grow, but soon they too will have no place to go, for we have learned to hate and we have learned to kill, we have no faith, we have no love, we have no compassion, we have no empathy, we have no respect, for humanity has been long dead, our bodies are like zombies for we all have lost our souls, for time will claim us all, with nothing but a hole to rot within, none of our wealth, our power nor greed will save us from this rancid disease, for man has chosen death over life, and hate over love, and not a single one has the will to bear not only their own cross, but nor will not one even attempt to bear another's burdens so that all may find a path forward, time has not been kind, with all the wisdom burned and all the knowledge learned, mans only goal is to die the last with no one else around.

You can encourage my continued useless poetic commentary on random thoughts and events, and by doing so your helping to feed, house and clothe a #disabled man living in #poverty, $5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…

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Environment Channel reshared this.

HELLO PEOPLE, THIS #Disabled MAN LIVING IN #Poverty COULD REALLY USE SOME HELP RIGHT NOW PLEASE! PLEASE HELP! I AM HUNGRY, SURE WOULD BE NICE TO BE ABLE TO BUY #FOOD FOR THE WEEK.
I Am Begging For Help, It is now April 11th, and I need to find a way to raise $1500 so that I can cover rent and food to eat this month, not to mention I have been in extreme pain recently only exacerbated by a very unsupportive mattress, if I could raise $2500, I can pay my rent, buy food and other basic life necessities and get a new mattress and pillows to finally get some sleep and maybe help alleviate some of my pain, I am seeking #MutualAid to #fundraise the $2500 I need, please help now, $5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…

reshared this

Friday morning on the 11th of April, the sun is slow to rise but the skies are clear the air is mild with a slight dampness this morning, Coffee is hot classical music is playing, the old man has struggled to sleep again, and in extreme pain this morning as the birds begin to wake up as traffic of the world gets moving, shuffling to the toilet struggling to sit aggravated crimson hemorrhoids clench as gas is all that passes at first squeeze, scrolling through the news feeds to more ominous news to start the day, filled with hunger but no food to eat, struggling with labored breath the old mans body has yet to awake, arms feeling like dead weight, a back out of place, knees and feet seem to find a new level of pain, the grass has been fresh cut from the day before glowing green in the early sun, hopeful morning ruined with the reality of constant pain, lack of sleep, gnawing lingering hunger, and the realization among billions of people, this old mans words, hopes and dreams will again fall upon deaf ears, as people drive by leading their busy lives, all with their own trials to tend to oblivious to the needs of this old man today, dogs barking roosters crowing, so much environmental noise yet his thoughts fill his head, if only some compassion and empathy could flow his way maybe he could eat even if for today, spring has sprung the indifference of the world says winters long nights are not even close to gone, darkness fills the void of life quickly snuffing out the hopes of a better life.

You can encourage my continued useless poetic commentary on random thoughts and events, and by doing so your helping to feed, house and clothe a #disabled man living in #poverty, $5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…

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Flipping imaginary pancakes over dirty laundry, ruminating body odors linger through the morgue, toe tags fallen on the floor blood splattered on the doors, maggots emerging from the spilled stomach contents on the counter, the eyes seem to be rolling down the table as the tongue tries to catch them, the left hand holding the brain while the right hand is trying to get away, it appears the dead have no ears, for they all think its a party in here, as hearts, livers and spleens fill a moldy bag like rotten jelly beans, for if you had a pair of lungs, this stinky air would steal your breath.

You can encourage my continued useless poetic commentary on random thoughts and events, and by doing so your helping to feed, house and clothe a #disabled man living in #poverty, $5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…

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Sometimes as I lay in my coffin I realize how much more peaceful death is than life, and I find tranquility as I see meadows of flowing flowers and gentle streams babbling over glowing rocks, birds are chirping, deer are grazing rabbits are playing and the fish are jumping, then out of no where like a lighting bolt to the chest, I come back to life to the horrors of disability, poverty, hunger, a world full of greed and hate, and I long for my death and peaceful rest, but I am but here trapped in life where nothing is close to right, people like me go hungry day and night, we live with no help nor hope, we suffer and struggle, as we fight to get through each day, alone in a world that is more of trip to hell than than a life of dignity, purpose and value, for all would rather ignore our needs, but become the first to scream when it comes their turn to bleed, compassion and empathy are but a dream, for reality in hell is cold, dark and lonely.

You can encourage my continued useless poetic commentary on random thoughts and events, and by doing so your helping to feed, house and clothe a #disabled man living in #poverty, $5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…

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Welcome


Hello 👋
I am Philip a #disabled man living in #poverty, being #creative in various ways is both therapeutic and my passion, I struggle in many areas of life, and often seek financial aid so that I can afford to take care of myself, I had the chance to setup my own #Friendica instance to communicate with the world, I can always use good friends so if you see this give me a follow #fedi22 @pasjrwoctx👽
When we all live with and show true compassion, respect and love towards one another, we bring dignity to humanity and we as a society can truly prosper.
I am a #disabled man living in #poverty who is a passionately creative Bi-Polar social outcast, who’s goal in life is to inspire others to overcome what ever is holding them back. My mental issues foster my creativity. They allow me to see the world with an open mind. I have compassion towards others, because I know first hand. How hard life can be.

$5-10-15 It All Helps, via #cashapp at $woctxphotog or via #paypal at paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=…

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