9 out of 10 deaths go belly up, 9 out of 10 cremations go up in smoke, 9 out of 10 embalmings leave you drained, when looking for a casket it's often better to go with a full couch, you can take a ride in a hearse but it just ends at a hole, morticians really know how to take the weight off, not everybody's dying to be put in the ground some people want to be the last barbecue, cemeteries are great places to read books they're often nice and quiet,

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